Earrings for Grandchild: When Mom Says No to Grandma

When our granddaughter was born, the first gift I purchased was the smallest pair of diamond earrings I could find.  Only real diamonds would do.  With a generous $150 budget, as with everything I do, I checked all the websites.

Baby EarringsRoss-Simons, Fortunoffs, Bloomingdales ….Then, I checked www.retailmenot to see if there were any further discounts or coupons available. Yes, $150 diamond earrings found, wrapped in pink.

Both our daughters got their ears pierced when they were very young.  A bald baby girl does well with earrings– no one mistakes the baby for a boy.  It is easier to pierce ears of a baby than an older child.  I could go on and on with great reasons but all were lost on my daughter, the mom.  Nothing I did or said would convince her to pierce our beautiful bald baby granddaughter’s ears.

I think finally, after her being tired of hearing about earrings, my daughter told me my granddaughter could pierce her ears when my granddaughter asked for it.  Very clever.  Shut me up but not for as long as my daughter expected.

As soon as I taught my granddaughter to say, “Mema,” I was working on earrings.  I would point to anyone who had pierced ears and be excited and cheer.  I think the machinations were lost on a beautiful near bald eighteen month old.  My daughter just smiled.

I switched tactics.  My daughter had diamond earrings in her ears.  I keep asking my granddaughter if she wants to look just like mommy who is beautiful with her pierced ears.  Mommy may have a great new dress on, but I am pointing out how the beautiful diamond earrings just make the outfit.  Now at six, my beautiful granddaughter, with long flowing thick hair, just gives me her mother’s smile.  I can only hug her, as if I need a reason to hug her.

One of my best friends has a granddaughter who is a year older than mine who just got her ears pierced.  The child kept begging her mother and her mother finally relented.  I am so jealous.  My friend said something that had not occurred to me.  Her granddaughter was the first in her class to get her ears pierced.  Ah! No one in my granddaughter’s class has pierced ears.  It is hard to be the first one in the class for anything.  What self confidence my friend’s granddaughter shows.

Now I am planning a conspiracy.  My friend is going to send me pictures of her granddaughter so happy with her new pierced ears.  I am going to use them to open a dialogue with my daughter and granddaughter on self confidence and being a style leader.  I have come to accept that my daughter has learned my number. I think I may have to accept that my granddaughter has my number too–at age six.  The great manipulator grandma has been out- manipulated. I am proud of their learning so well.

May all family issues be as trivial as whether to pierce ears.  May all family issues be handled with such finesse, calm and ease.  I always tell my children when they are worried about a grandchild not meeting a developmental milestone as they should not to worry as the grandchild will be doing it by the time he or she walks down the aisle.  Pierced ears is hardly a developmental milestone but I guess I am going to have to spring for larger diamond earrings for the wedding!




  1. Was searching for a GF’s blog and came across your interestng one. Began reading and got to the latest entry about buying your gd’s some diamond earrings after she was born. Unfortunately, your daughter has stubbornly resisted having her ears pierced. Fast forward to her present age of 6 and alas, still no pierced ears! This happened to me with our first grandaughter too.

    First, I don’t think crazy for wanting your gd’s ears pierced now. Admittedly, I know a lot of people have
    strong feelings when to pierce a child’s ear. Like you, I had my girls ears pierced at six weeks so there would be angst later when they wanted them done.

    Second, one of keys to my success was through my SIL. I took him aside one day and found out it MY daughter, Susie, who was the obstacle to my granddaughter looking so sweet with my birth gift diamond earrings. He had actually wanted them done, but Susie (my daughter) was opposed. I told him she was a princess and all princesses should have earrings! We conspired by having Sandi’s BF, Missy (who had darling oversized pearl pierced earrings) over for a playdate. My SIL asked my daughter what she thought of Missy’s little earrings….Susie said, “…she looked adorable with pearl pierced earrings.” My SIL propmptly chimed in that he wanted Sandi to look cute and precious with little earrings too. Why didn’t we go with Grandma to have them done? I simply said, “…I’ll pay for them and bring the camera :)” What could she do while I was there and my SIL telling him she needed them done?

    Lastly, cerebrally, as grandmothers and mothers of girls of all ages, we know it celebrates their femaleness and femininity. Well, Susie changed her mind, my SIL and I were thrilled that Sandi had her ears pierced and now looks more like a princess than ever:)

    From your comments, I think grandma is going to win this battle. Sounds like your grandmother’s intuition is working overtime and your granddaughter will soon have earrings. It is not a matter of if, but when.

    Send an e-mail if you would might need some more ideas. I’m glad my granddaughte had them done and now my daughter loves them. Go figure.


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