Never Say No–Number 1

Never say no to the Pregnant Pair

The pregnant pair are asserting their independence as a couple and solidifying their nuclear family circle.  They are also exploring how they will fit into the extended family once they are three.  So, they sometimes, well maybe more than sometimes, will not make sense.  They sort of explore their horizons out loud.  They really do not remember what they ask, why, or when.

Therefore, there is no problem never saying no.  If you say no about anything, the no will be remembered.  Whether it is if you like a name that your daughter or son or daughter in law or son in law likes.  Whether it is if you like the furniture they are considering.  Whether it is if you will help them with. . . .

If you cannot immediately bring yourself to say yes, there are alternatives.  Of course, you can resort to the old saying you used while they were growing up, “maybe.”  If you need time to think about it, don’t say maybe, say yes.  If you think you would say no, say yes.

The yes gives the couple the confidence that they are in the right direction–which of course they are, developing their own level of independence.  They want to know that their parents will unconditionally support them if they need the support.

Which brings us to generations past who lived in the same household or the same building or the same neighborhood.  Parenting is hard.  Having extra pairs of hands with a baby is so appreciated.  Our kids have it so much harder now.  Working harder longer hours and not having us immediately when they might need us as they do not live with us and we have lives.

See, never say no.  No upside in saying no and plenty of downside.  Who do you want  the first person they call to be?  If you want it to be you, they have to know they can depend on you.  You show that by always saying yes.  After all, what in life is more important than being the first to be called to hold that precious grandchild!



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